Gargantuan Steps

Today was a big day for us, although from the outside it would have appeared very normal.

First of all we did not get the call we were hoping for. The one that was offering Z a spot that miraculously came open at K's school. Instead I began the process of enrolling him in home school. I was oddly surprised at how complicated it was. Not sure what I was thinking there...

Secondly I removed the crib from E's room. I know what some of you may be thinking. "What?! The girl is nearly 4! (In October but still...) What is the world took you so long?!" I honestly don't know what we were thinking. It sort of snuck up on us. It was the first time we did not have to move the current crib-sleeper out to make room for a new baby. It is also the first time in 8 years, 5 months and 17 days that we have not had a crib assembled in our home. *tear*

It was a bit emotional for me so I attacked it in my typical defence mechanism of jumping in full-steam and distracting myself with the task at hand. So I tore down E's crib, hauled it downstairs, hauled her new bed upstairs and put it together. (Back story - she has been sleeping on her mattress on her floor for a few weeks to get used to it.) E is of course elated by all this. She has not even touched her crib since she got her Big Girl Bed (*tear*) and loves the new bedding she got to pick out and how we rearranged her room. Props to the hubs here - it was his vision!

Look how tiny she looks!

Awww! She is so happy!

(The top blanket by the way is her most prized possession - the ni-night.)

Even Z got in on the excitement and fun!

So now I sit here facing a whole new world for our little family. One that includes home schooling but no babies or baby things. It is oddly peaceful and painful at the same time. Maybe God sees our family as it should be, or maybe there is a new soul that belongs with us someday. Right now we don't know and I think I am okay with that. At least I am getting there.

Another Happy-ism

My sweet 5 year old daughter K, who we call Happy, comes up with the cutest things.

Today at dinner she got in trouble and had to be in time-out while we prayed. When she came to the table she needed to pray on her own and chose to do it in her head.

First of all, this in itself is so unbelievably cute because she squints her eyes super tight and mouths or whispers her prayer. Not that I eves-drop or anything... pretty sure that would not be appropriate.

ANYWAY

As she wrapped up her prayer she suddenly rubbed the top of her head and said "Whoa! That made my head tingly!"

God bless this child!

She truly knows how to brighten my days ... even when I am nearing the "I am going to sell you to the circus" point.

Short Cuts!

I had a few things on my heart that I was struggling to get into type. I clicked through my Blogger Reader list and caught up on one of my new favorite blogs. I have never met this wonderful woman but each one of her posts speaks to me. This and this especially. So why re-write what she said much better than I could? It may be cheating but I prefer to call it efficient. Besides, if you are not already reading this blog you should be.

So Sweet!

First Day of School

Check out her pose. She does this in every picture lately.

Today was K's first day of Kindergarten. It was sort-of anti-climactic. No tears or even a catch in my throat. We didn't even get inside the playground gate before she ran off, threw her backpack down and was making new friends. Moments later however, she came to us crying she had hit her head. Sure enough she had a dent in the middle of her forehead and a little cut. Her teacher took her to the nurse's office. I didn't even get a hug or kiss goodbye!

See the tiny bump right in the middle of her forehead?

Luckily as you can see she is just fine and luckily no ER visit or stitches were necessary. This time.

Steve struggled a little more with this being her first day of school. She has such a special place in her Daddy's heart.

Highlights from her day:

• New friends - can't remember their names
• Had two recesses
• Gets to meet even more new friends tomorrow
• Made a puzzle with her own hand print and got a sparkly, pink heart sticker on it.

Highlights for me:

• Being informed that she only missed us for a minute but then forgot to
• Big brother telling her he missed her (aww!)

Sadly today was shadowed by the situation with her older brother and the fact he has not yet been given a spot at her school. I do not understand open-enrollment. It seems to me only logical that if one sibling gets into a school, the others should too. I am sure there is some bureaucratic reason why they justify their system, but from my point of view it does not make sense. The last day for him to possibly get in is next Friday. After that we will choose a home school program and begin a new journey. One I am totally not prepared for and doubt I am capable of!

Our troubles with schools for Z began back in Kindergarten. From that point I have willingly and peacefully trusted God and have felt His hand and voice every step of the way. I clearly felt He was calling me to honor Steve's desire to no longer pay for private school. Everything went so smoothly until now. I just do not get it. It is so hard to watch Z struggle with disappointment and jealousy as he goes with me to take his sister to school but doesn't get to go. Even worse - the big kids are on recess at the same time.

And still as emotional and painful as this is for me I still feel at peace with our decisions thus far.

I know God is working and even though I cannot see the outcome or purpose, I know He does and that I truly do not need to worry about it. It occurred to me today that I am in a desert period of my life. It also occurred to me that there is a purpose greater than me or even my child's broken heart for this.

Two things came to mind in one of those driving-down-the-street-hits-you-out-of-nowhere-epiphany kind of ways.
1. Me in a desert.
2. I can externally be in a desert but still be filled with life giving water from the inside. (Temporal vs. Eternal - thanks in part to Kay Arthur I am grasping this!) I picture the tree beside the stream (Jer. 17:8) with its roots going deep into the ground where it is constantly "fed." Because I am in a desert my roots just need to be longer to reach the water I need. Convoluted? Possibly but it makes sense in my head and in my heart I know I am beginning to get it.

New Rule

Whenever there is music playing anywhere it must be posted in some way, some where with the title and the artist.

I was sitting at my laptop, catching up on blogs and listening to the Olympics. I know listening to the Olympics seems pretty irrational but I am a multi-tasker and cannot do anything with out doing something else too.

Anyway, here I am reading up on those blogs I have come to love so dearly when a song catches my attention. Now I love music. It is not uncommon for me to be in the middle of 3 or 4 things and hear a song that causes me to stop all said things to listen, sing, dance to the song. The song that caught my ear was the music to the adorable Shawn Johnson’s floor routine. It is the 3rd time I have heard it but I never noticed how beautiful her song is. It is the new soundtrack to my life… or at least part of it. Except for that weird middle part where it sounds like police sirens in London. (Not that I have been to London but I have seen 101 Dalmatians about 101 times – all versions.)

By the way that cute girl from the Chinese team, Jiang Yuyuan, has a great song too. It is on now and it just makes me happy. That and her fabulous dimple. I am so jealous.

I understand the new iPhone has the ability to “listen” to a song and tell you the title and artist and you can even purchase it from iTunes right then and there! I have to have that! If you have one I am so jealous. Tell me if it works as well as I imagine it to.

Bully Update

Thank you to all my sweet friends who have shared such kind words, both in blog form, email form and face to face as I continue to process the events we shared the other day.

As I said, Z decided he wanted to talk to the girl who had upset him so. She had gone inside by the time he went out there so he was unable to talk with her. Maybe that is God's answer to my prayers. Z got to play with another boy one on one which was very special for him since usually there are about 5 girls playing too. It was good for them to have Boy Time. A little time passed and Z asked for popsicles for him and the 3 kids he was now playing with. Remember Otter Pops? Oh so yummy! They no longer have the little Otters on the packaging that tell the name that correlated to their color or flavor. I cannot imagine why they would change that.

While we were not given a resolution and the rain we have enjoyed for the past few days have prevented playing outside much, at least there was peace in our house and my son's heart has had time to heal.

Growing Pains

Being a mommy is hard. Today Z went out to play with some kids in our alley. There is a group of maybe 6 neighbor kids that ride bike and scooters and have all sorts of adventures. There are a few kids I would not choose to have for my son but there are good lessons he can learn from them. So I grip my heart and loosen my grasp on him and allow him to leave my site for short stretches of time. Besides, when I was his age my friends and I rode our bikes all over town all day long. That was a different time and I am getting off track.

So today Z was out playing in the alley. Suddenly he comes inside after about an hour of playing and is very upset. He goes on to tell me the big sister of two of his friends (who is maybe 12 years old) came out and began bullying my baby! Blaming him for all sort of things, yelling at him and embarrassing him and getting some of the other kids to join in. Don't you just love that pack mentality we as humans are weak to? Then this girl tells my tender-hearted son, my first born, that he is no longer allowed in the alley or to play with the other kids.

If you are a parent or know a parent I am sure you can guess my first instinct was to jump up, in my p.j.s no less, and go give her what-for. Thankfully I was held to my spot and the rational side of my brain chimed in (haven't heard from you in a while!) As we talked through things I prayed for the right words and advice to offer him and to mend his broken heart. I explained how this girl cannot tell him what to do and that it is possible that she does not feel good about herself and so that is why she is so mean. That she is mean in a way to scare people into being her friends or she will be mean to them. I told him a bunch of other stuff I hope was good advice but that I cannot remember!

Then my brave and sensitive boy decided he wanted to go talk to his attacker!!!

OK - not my personal first choice, or second or third... but I had to let him go.

So now I sit and listen and check out back for some sign of how things are going, all the while praying for God to give my son words, for God to soften this girl's heart and use Z for His purpose, but also for protection for my dear, sweet, sensitive first-born and his tender and loving heart.

Did I do this right? What should I or could I have done differently? What would you have done?

Darn Time Zones

Ugh! All over the web are images and articles about the Olympic Opening Ceremonies. I am so excited but I don't want to know about them. I don't even want to see the tiniest thumbnail image! I want to see it all tonight when it airs in my time zone as if it were live. Because it is all about me. ;)

I am trying to be strong and should just turn off the computer and walk away... Yeah, that is what I will do.

Now.

I can do it.

Really.

I am in control.

Here we go.

Help me!

9 Cent Entertainment

9 pennies from the bottom of Mom's bag - 9 cents
Big Brother with arms long enough to reach more pennies - free
3 adoreable children getting along - PRICELESS!

We spent a while at the big watefall at our local mall which as you can see is beautiful. Z could reach coins other people had tossed in so his sisters could make a bunch of wishes. Awww! How sweet is that! He was their hero! I found exactly 9 pennies in my bag so they could make even more wishes though I did not quite obtain the hero status my son did. Oh well.

It was so wonderful to watch them having so much fun with something so simple. I often feel overwhelmed by all the requests to go somewhere, do something, buy the latest and greatest toy or game. We try so hard to teach our children not to be materialistic but it is hard for them and us. Plus we have been staying in the house so much lately because of the heat that we are all a little stir crazy and the bickering had been escalating to impressive levels. It was nice to be out in the sun and fresh air and for all three of them to be loving and kind to each other without me telling them to!

Of course we did a little shopping while there. I was so happy. It has been months since I have gone shopping (Steve does not understand that groceries don't count) and I was going through withdrawls! Even though I did not get anything for me (I usually don't) we did get these fabulous shoes for the girls!

Their love for shoes fills me with such pride! They are mine! It is hard to tell from this picture that the shoes are glittery and have satin trim and bows. So fabulous. Yea!