Thursday, August 14, 2008

Growing Pains

Being a mommy is hard. Today Z went out to play with some kids in our alley. There is a group of maybe 6 neighbor kids that ride bike and scooters and have all sorts of adventures. There are a few kids I would not choose to have for my son but there are good lessons he can learn from them. So I grip my heart and loosen my grasp on him and allow him to leave my site for short stretches of time. Besides, when I was his age my friends and I rode our bikes all over town all day long. That was a different time and I am getting off track.

So today Z was out playing in the alley. Suddenly he comes inside after about an hour of playing and is very upset. He goes on to tell me the big sister of two of his friends (who is maybe 12 years old) came out and began bullying my baby! Blaming him for all sort of things, yelling at him and embarrassing him and getting some of the other kids to join in. Don't you just love that pack mentality we as humans are weak to? Then this girl tells my tender-hearted son, my first born, that he is no longer allowed in the alley or to play with the other kids.

If you are a parent or know a parent I am sure you can guess my first instinct was to jump up, in my p.j.s no less, and go give her what-for. Thankfully I was held to my spot and the rational side of my brain chimed in (haven't heard from you in a while!) As we talked through things I prayed for the right words and advice to offer him and to mend his broken heart. I explained how this girl cannot tell him what to do and that it is possible that she does not feel good about herself and so that is why she is so mean. That she is mean in a way to scare people into being her friends or she will be mean to them. I told him a bunch of other stuff I hope was good advice but that I cannot remember!

Then my brave and sensitive boy decided he wanted to go talk to his attacker!!!

OK - not my personal first choice, or second or third... but I had to let him go.

So now I sit and listen and check out back for some sign of how things are going, all the while praying for God to give my son words, for God to soften this girl's heart and use Z for His purpose, but also for protection for my dear, sweet, sensitive first-born and his tender and loving heart.

Did I do this right? What should I or could I have done differently? What would you have done?


petiteblogger said...

My heart goes out to you & him. I have no idea what you should have done except what you did. May I show a tiny bit of the restraint you did if it happens to Dawson or Heaven help that bully! Grrrr... We are mother bears, right?
Sounds like you did the right thing & I'll be praying for Z... and you!
love you, friend!

Tiffanib said...

Your rock! You're a great mom and I'm sure if you took the time to pray for help in the moment you took the time to listen. It's harder to watch your kids hurt than it is to hurt yourself.

Angie said...

Oh, ouch. That makes my heart hurt for you... we hate to see our babies hurt in any way, be it a deep cut across their tender little cheeks (am I right?!) or across their hearts. I think you've got a great perspective on letting go and learning lessons, so I think you did the right thing. I'm eager to hear how it turned out...